A Journey of Enhancement

Some chapters from A Journey of Enhancement, by Benjamin Katz & Arun Dhundale

 

Chapter VI: The Art of intermediation:

Self- awareness:

“The process was claimed to be an advance. Unfortunately it is the philosopher, not the protozoa, who gives us this assurance.” – Bertrand Russell writing about the theory that living organisms had developed gradually, going from protozoa to philosopher.

It is well known that we humans are, to a great extent, products of the psychological and social influences we were exposed to in our childhoods. These influences, be they parental, sibling, social contact and control, sickness, death, natural cataclysm or war, play an important role in forming our attitudes towards life. A lack of love and support from the people around us can especially affect our personal views as well as our view of life in general in a negative direction.

As a rule of thumb, people who suffered from a lack of love and support as children, will have difficulties loving themselves and functioning adequately in ongoing love relationships. This ongoing failure to achieve a supporting love brings, over and over again, a deep- rooted feeling of being alone in the world, of being shoved aside. They can therefore become easy prey to feelings of depression, anxiety, hostility, suspicion and paranoia towards people and the world around them. With these feelings manifesting themselves in their mental foreground, they are much more prone to become self-destructive or destructive in relation to people and society.

People also can be molded psychologically by the norms of their society, a much larger scale or apparatus. Take for example the Law of Jante. Denmark, a small country, is permeated with implicit yet powerful social rules and codes Living here, we gradually learned about this law. It may be summed up in this manner:

“You shouldn´t fancy yourself to be someone special, or that you are worth more than we are, or that you are wiser than us. You shouldn´t think of yourself as better than us, or that you know more than us, or that you are good at something. You shouldn´t laugh at us. You shouldn´t believe that there is somebody here who likes you or that you can teach us something.”

This Law of Jante which, in Denmark, stems from the agrarian-Protestant period, is very effective indeed. It shaped and maintained, like many other authoritarian codes of behavior, a stable society, where a person was kept nailed to his place by a mental intimidation woven into the traditions, religion and social discourse of people in this country.

It is rather odd to see the imprinting of the old Jante laws fighting fiercely in the souls of people with overblown egos, a trend of our time. People we have known have been fighting with bouts of omnipotence and perfectionism on the one hand and fears of Nemesis and bad conscience on the other hand. All due, at least partially, to Jante.

The Law of Jante can be humiliating and oppressive for the spirits, visions and enthusiasm of humans. It constrains happiness, spontaneity and the legitimate feelings of the indivdual´s uniqueness. Fears of “the nemesis that awaits you” can keep individuals in check.

Yet there are people who believe that human beings are cursed because we are eager to know too much. A curse that the story of the Tower of Babel demonstrates so well.

An Indian proverb states:

Happy are the ignorant who do not know they are ignorant.

Is this supposition perhaps true?

Is the paradisiac condition of ignorance tantamount to happiness?

One fact is certain! Those who formulated the parable could not possibly consider themselves ignorant, in that they believed they possessed insight into the condition (to be happy is tantamount to being ignorant of one´s own ignorance); and insight cannot equal ignorance. Could their proverb be based upon earlier experience with the blessings of ignorance?

Certainly. That people express themselves concerning an earlier situation is not unusual. Then why have they not chosen to remain ignorant if this condition is so satisfactory? Because one cannot choose not to be ignorant; hence, if this choice is denied, how can one be happy? The possibility of choosing is characterized as enabling happiness. Therefore we must conclude that this parable is just as contradictory as human beings are. It is just this contradiction which enables the exploitation of the ignorant. The ignorant stand powerless against a complex and contradictory world. Reality makes demands for which solutions require knowledge.

Thus, my experience has shown me that most people who do not possess sufficient knowledge concerning the complexity of life will have difficulties orienting themselves and they will thereby suffer. One way of looking at human reality is to compare it to a great sea. The sea is, of course, many things. It is the origin of, and the basis for life, but also mortally dangerous for life if one does not learn to respect its uncontrollable forces.

One must learn to be a good navigator in order to appreciate and survive in this sea.

One must learn to avoid the storms and cliffs which lead to destruction. Insight which is transformed into life affirming actions and attitudes (”to learn to navigate”) is not merely life-enriching, but also necessary.

Making people aware of the forces and dynamics which affect them is one step towards helping them to beat both their destructive and self destructive thoughts and acts. The next step is helping them to rid themselves of negative patterns, thoughts and acts, and filling the ”vacuum” within their mental systems with new, more adequate and life affirming modes of reacting and acting. The first step without the next step is meaningless since what changes people´s attitudes towards themselves and life is, to a great extent, action based on knowledge.

This transformation requires many wise teachers with a solid knowledge of themselves and life. They should be equipped with a life-affirming attitude as an antidote to the two rival attitudes of our times: one of desperation, the other being an illusory, overblown and over consuming view of the individual´s potentials and possibilities.

The requirements of Self Awareness:

Self- awareness, as we regard it, requires the following:

1. The recognition that human beings are complex, complicated and contradictory and that no human beings, groups or societies are able or capable of transcending these limits totally.
2. The acceptance of us, human beings, as being fundamentally fragile, both as individuals and as a species. Arbitrary naturally occurring as well as manmade factors, and coincidences and accidents can hurt and destroy us as individuals as well as a species.
3. The recognition that we are historical creatures with a past that can be used as an essential tool for our present as well as our future betterment and learning. Ignoring the insights that our history presents for us will only lead us into repeating the tragic futilities of the past.
4. The insight that our so- called antagonistic feelings and views can be transformed into constructive complementarity. This means that we have the potential to make our inward and outward contradictions and antagonisms work together in order to improve ourselves.

In addition to these needed aspects, it would be also recommendable to incorporate the following insights in order to meet the world as it is:

That God, whatever he represents for people, has no exclusive pact with a certain peoples, society or religion.

Understanding the importance of changing contexts (time, place and persons) for our thinking, perceiving and acting in a human reality. Without a profound understanding of the existential and practical meaning of ”panta rei” and ”eternity is temporary,” neither our learning nor our efforts can be focused in the right direction.

That human beings, regardless of their technical advances, will always be subjected to detrimental forces of nature such as natural selection, ailments, physical decay and death.

That human life is neither sacred nor divine per se. The value of human life has fluctuated throughout history and it will continue to change according to changing historical contexts. The humanistic view which many believe in, is as temporary as any human phenomenon. The meaning our person and life will retain, in the Age of Necessity is nurtured by working for something larger than our self, i.e. the welfare and progress of people, community, society, humanity and the planet. Doing so enables our endeavors to render significance and value to our lives, and thereby carry us beyond a mere biological course.

Without some joking, happiness and optimism in our views towards life, life becomes either too solemn or unbearable. That is why life -affirming knowledge encourages positive, happy attitudes.

The utmost meaning of human life beyond its biological manifestation and span, is to improve human beings and humanity. This is a longterm task, one which goes beyond our individual lifespan. Yet a person who possesses this knowledge, is willing to contribute actively to this process since he knows that many small ceaseless efforts might bring about a ”critical mass,” one which may transform the course of human development.

The mediation of self-awareness:

”The only thing good without qualification is extended vision, the enlargement of one´s understanding and awareness of what reality is ultimately like.” (Huston Smith, The Religions of Man, p.13, 1986)

More than a thousand years ago, Greek philosophers recognized the importance of the acquisition of self-awareneess. They believed this acquisition to be important in that it would improve human life; to manipulate, brainwash or condition people would become almost impossible. Socrates, Plato and others tried to mediate their knowledge about self-awareness to the public, but without much success. Human beings are much more complex and contradictory than was presumed by these thinkers in regard to utilizing the fruits of awareness, and they are therefore not always appreciative of the gifts offered to them.

So how could our efforts in this area bear better and more lasting results?

Many of us realize through experience, that far from all parents are capable of supporting and rearing their children to lead a life-enhancing existences. Many of us also realize that the different organizations conceived in the last 50 years of our century by modern societies for the purpose of alleviating and diminishing the secondary effects of emotional foundering (through the efforts of experts and professionals), are on the whole, ineffective.

Negative social legacy seems to manifest itself with undiminished strength, despite efforts from many and diverse sides.

In the following section, a model is described which may be a more effective method of fighting this cruel, largely self-inflicted, social process. This model is concerned primarily with the mediation of self-awareness to school-aged children and teenagers. Counseling and guidance in life-enhancing parenthood would be provided to them and would-be parents. Mediation of life-affirming knowledge would also be provided to the growing numbers of senior citizens. Mediation to school-children will involve children from 6 to 16 years of age. The reason for the protracted number of years to which the model applies, lies in the ability to influence children toward a life-enhancing attitude during their formative years.

One last remark before approaching the subject ”intermediators” is concerned with the spirit in which it is hoped mediation will occur.

”Gn-thi seat-n” (know thyself) said Chilon from Sparta. Writings of the ancient Greeks reiterated that ”knowing thyself” is an important element in the meaning of life; and that it is the best way to make life better for human beings.

However they were also aware of the human tendency to overindulge in many areas of life and development; an overindulgence with which people become preoccupied, thus harming themselves and/or others. This overindulgence may hold true in efforts to obtain self- awareness. Instead of learning to live a better and richer life, people either become hedonists or neurotics who, consumed by their diffuse broodings and profundities, ”know everything about their own sufferings as well as those of others,” yet are unable to change their life situation in order to move in a positive direction.

Therefore the ancient Greeks also said,”All things in temperance.” In our day and age many people try to get insights into themselves, others and the world; still they suffer. The reason: their insights have often not been transformed into life-affirming attitudes and experience. Furthermore, they do not comprehend how this transformation should take place.

The primary task of intermediation will thus be in assisting children and youth in finding the balance between ”know thyself” and ”everything with temperance.”

Chapter VII: Capacity of the intermediators: demands and premises

”How is the search for knowledge is frustrated?

It is frustrated by pretense.

There is that which man knows within himself. He does not recognize it for what it is. He pretends that he can, or cannot, understand it. He does not know that he needs a certain preparation.

There is what man thinks that he knows, but does not. He only knows about a part of the things which he knows. This partial knowledge is in some ways worse than no knowledge at all.

There is also that which man does not know, and cannot know at any given stage. This however, he believes that he must know. He seeks it, or something that will seem to him to be this thing. Since he has no real measuring stick, he begins to pretend.”

• Study theme of the Azamia Dervishes (Shah, I. p.126, 1982)

Introduction: The teacher and the taught comprise the teaching

In our time, it is often professional boundaries that determine professional development and identity. We have therefore different professional groups, each with its own viewpoint concerning human thriving.

In my opinion, intermediators can and should be able to function across professional boundaries.

One has to bear in mind that demands on intermediators` capacities will more or less be the same as we expect today from good pedagogues (early childhood educators), teachers and psychologists. They could conceivably be recruited from different professions like teachers, social workers, psychologists, athletes, team coaches, youth movement leaders and even priests. In general, people who can communicate positively and gracefully with others. They will, through their activities, abolish some of these boundaries.

Capable professionals can establish good contact with children, motivate them, change their attitudes and mediate knowledge about life which is applicable. They will be selected in accordance with their ability to establish good contact not just with children but with their parents as well. Since their job demands, besides mediation, an ability to motivate and to cooperate with both children and their parents, they must show the ability, which many professionals today display only partly, of communicating well with both grown-ups as well as children. They will put much weight on teaching by experiences and doing (”knowing through actions and experience”).

Their activities and endeavors will involve professional areas such as teaching, education, psychotherapy, nutrition, preventive medicine, music, singing, gymnastics, physical activities, drama and project work. Through their work they will be able to integrate these ostensibly diverse aspects into a meaningful, coherent mediation. Professional boundaries which now exist, as for example, between education and counseling or psychotherapy will often vanish in the practice of mediation. Because intermediators, among other things, will be challenged by this integration of knowledge from various professional areas, thereby demolishing previous limits of professional roles, criteria must be established concerning the demands and premises they must fulfill.

An elementary requirement:

An elementary requirement in order to qualify as an intermediator will be that he is not neurotic, with an irresistible urge to help people. By ”neurotic” is meant having conflicts within himself and in relation to his environment which force him to be well adjusted and energetic in the world and miserable or lethargic in his private life. Intermediators will satisfactorily manage their own lives with respect to their families and other close relationships. In other words, they will be well integrated people in both their private life as well as in society at large. They will be a clear congruence between their lives on one hand, and what they will be teaching on the other hand.

Age limits for intermediators:

Since it is my intention that intermediators are capable, via their ways of being and attitudes, of functioning as models for children, teenagers, parents and would be parents, it is important to consider whether age plays a role in this process. It is common knowledge that children and young people often have difficulty in understanding the world of certain adults and vice versa. The gap between two generations must not lead to estrangement and thereby render the teaching ineffective.

Another aspect which can be decisive for intermediators is the amount of useful life-experience one possesses. Useful life experience is experience which renders life less painful and strained for oneself and others important to oneself (family, circle of friends, etc.). We know that ones´ useful life experience can be connected with ones´ total life experience, but there is no guarantee that the longer we live the more we are in possession of it.

However, young people, due to their often limited life experience, do not always comprehend the complexity of human phenomena and development. They are therefore unable to relate in an adequate way to changing contexts, especially where it requires a varied repertoire of action and approaches. Therefore, in my opinion, the age limit for an intermediator starting out, with room for exceptions, would be 25 years.

Marital status of intermediators:

Intermediators should not have to be married. However it would be considered an advantage to their work as intermediators if they have had a loving, stable relationship with a grown up.

Additionally a durable and positive experience with their own children and childrearing would give a strong advantage. Intermediators risk lacking reliable measures for influencing the children of others if they have not had the experience of rearing their own children.

With respect to a good and stable relationship, be it living together or in a marriage, it should be emphasized that people who live together in a good relationship thrive better than singles or divorced people. The loneliness and isolation which seem to influence and plague so many people in our time, is in reality a destructive power in terms of the health and thriving of the individual. The fact that so many people find establishing a fertile relationship difficult, does not mean that such a relationship works against nature.

The problem most likely lies in the area of ”Negative social legacy.” We know that people thrive better in a satisfactory relationship, they live longer and they have a higher resistance to illness than do single or divorced people. This aspect must be focused on by intermediators. Their experience must not be merely theoretical or negative. They must be able to teach through examples and achieving a congruence between that which they represent and that which they mediate is the best example.

Sublimation:

Sublimation can stave off destructive impulses and feelings by channeling them in more constructive directions. We know it from many examples. Sports are, in our times, a very clear demonstration of sublimating the aggressive impulses.

The acceptance of free competition in economics, with some control mechanisms, is also a way of channeling the aggressiveness which in the past could cause wars, to a more so-called civilized state of affairs.

In the early years of the kibbutz, children were kept busy in every respect. The philosophy was to channel their energies (sexual, aggressive and destructive) into constructive activities. It worked well, as long as the kibbutz societies believed in their missions and goals.

Intermediators will work with similar tools and processes in order to undermine the self-destructive view which has been so popular in the West (”I only do what I feel like”) and reinstate the view that pleasures must go hand in hand with duties and responsibilities. By subliming the impulses and urges to fulfill the whims of the individual as stimulated by the mass media, intermediators will bring forth in children an awareness of the essential dimension of reducing or postponing immediate desires in order to gain long term ones.

Diversity:

Diversity like any human phenomenon, can be either useful and enriching or destructive and dividing (for instance the biblical example of the Tower of Babel!).

Lots of bloody, filthy wars were fought between human beings who felt themselves to be better and different from others (diversity used in destructive manner). On the other hand diversity in viewing and thinking may encourage critical thinking and rich ways of life. Intermediators will fight conformity (which is the opposite of developing awareness) and encourage critical thinking (which embodies diversity). But they will have to balance carefully between these two poles. Too much conformity can bring stagnation and immobility, or something worse: a tyranny of thoughts and lifestyles.

Yet too much stress on diversity can bring about divisions, suspicions and conflicts. Cultivating diversity will be regarded as a good investment as long as it does not collide with fundamental interests like the ecological/economic/population sustainability accompanied, relative global justice regarding sharing of responsibilities and resources, and avoidance of wars of expansion.

Thus intermediators will seem, in regard to propagating diversity, like the driver of a car, constantly shifting between the gas pedal and the brakes.

Identification:

Why do we identify ourselves with people and models? We do it because it is a very central, fundamental mode of learning and attaining knowledge, attitudes and skills. Modeling is a very powerful mode of teaching both among primates as well as humans. We, especially as children and teenagers, learn much, a great deal of it unconsciously, by looking at and imitating others whom we consider to be better than us in some respects.

In the same manner we can be manipulated to believe in messages of a seductive, stupid and destructive character, if they are expressed by potential figures of identification.

Intermediators will be aware of utilizing this force, since their most fundamental message will be: ”Learn by my example, not by my words.”

Intermediators and brain research:

PÏato once said that music ”is a more potent instrument for education than any other.”

Music trains the brain for higher forms of thinking, that is to say spatial intelligence (the ability to visualize the world accurately). Early music training can enhance a child´s ability to reason.

The same is true for physical exercise. It is not good only for the heart, it also juices the brain, feeding it nutrients in the form of glucose and increasing nerve connections, all of which make it easier for kids of all ages to learn.

Children also need to be more physically active in the classroom, not sitting quietly in their seats all day long. Knowledge is retained longer if children connect not only aurally but emotionally and physically to the material they are presented with.

This knowledge, which is old- fashioned common sense and now verified by brain research, will motivate and guide intermediators in their approach and endeavors towards children.

Modeling with means of artificial intelligence

At the end of this century, it becomes evident, that educating and teaching humans, especially children, by using electronic behavior models, like the Japanese Tamagotchis, contains great possibilities.

Especially by giving these models the flexibility and power of artificial intelligence, which can match (only to some degree) human complexity. Using these electronic models will supplement the work of intermediators. It will make the task of mediation more humorous and exciting whether the focus is on educating better parents, cultivating critical and independent thinking, social skills and problem solving approaches.

Since most kids are true explorers, the Internet is an exciting place for them (and becomes a nerve-racking prospect for many parents) and it will be tempting to install in their computers software of a wise, humorous and appealing electronic model guide-like the Japanese tamagotchi-who will help kids, how to explore and surf î in the Internet after meaningful information and knowledge. Since information on the Net is interactive, easily distributed and highly malleable, it will reach many kids.

These Net-Geners (the words of Don Tapscot in his book ”Growing Up Digital”), could, in all likelihood, develop certain characteristics such as: curiosity, assertiveness, self-reliance, critical thinking and great acceptance of diversity.

This mode of teaching, using models equipped with artificial intelligence, can be adapted to the different needs of children.

Intermediators, using these tools in their mediation, will be aware of the fact that regardless of how ”intelligent” and amusing these devices can become, they will lack the quality of human contact and complexity.

Like us today, being suspicious of books of advice, of self help percepts, because of their fixed maxims and canned metaphors, the intermediators will keep in mind that, these devices can not do the real work.

Artificial models will, for a long time to come, contain in their hardware, lists of precepts, which don´t work like targeted advice because lists contain inherently constraining messages. In human affairs, we cannot always expect that a given process will lead to foreseeable results. Models like these, standing on their own, may imply a thin and predictable world, whereas the sort of advice the intermediators wish to pass on, is a rather tentative optimism, the optimism of a quest whose outcome is not always knowable.

A happy, realistic attitude toward life

Luck will knock on the smiling gate. – a Japanese saying

A happy, realistic attitude is the foundation of a good life. It expresses love and belief in life and humankind. At the same time it is mixed with a realistic perception of human existence. Down to earth attitudes and practices are important ingredients of the happy view toward life. It does not combine well with other attitudes such as ”flying high” or ”being in the here and now.”

A happy attitude toward life combined with realistic view is the mixture which can benefit us both as human beings and as intermediators. Being realistic can, apart from hindering an overwhelming view of life, also prevent a person from developing an omnipotent conception of self.

Intermediators´ positive attitudes towards life should shine through and have a beneficial influence both on the people with whom they work as well as those which whom they have close relationships (family, friends).

There is a problem, however, with those who seem to shine in a social/teaching connection, when they are unable to share the same with their closest relationships. There are professionals and social workers who live in conflict between that which they express to the ”world out there” and that which they are, or cannot be with their closest family and friends. This conflict would be unacceptable for an intermediator. An intermediator must be able to express this side of himself/herself in different social connections, not least in relation to his family. The proof of this will be the thriving of family members.

A basic wisdom of life

There is no universal means of encompassing the wisdom of humankind and because of that it cannot be defined in terms of science. ”Wisdom does not live in only one house,” and probably never will. Likewise wisdom cannot always live in the same house. People, as individuals, do not have a patent on it, there is no guarantee that what emerges from their mouths will always be wisdom.

Wisdom is fleeting and unmeasurable. And it is just this fleeting, difficult to define wisdom which is the bearing element in all good and effective mediation of life-affirming knowledge.

At a very basic level wisdom about life is expressed in many ways, but the most fundamental level will be one´s attitude toward life. At this level wisdom must be regarded as the attitude one has to oneself as an organism which is subjugated to deterministic conditions, among other things, a limited lifetime.

Life is a gift which must be valued and given care and consideration. The body and mind should be given care and should not be challenged to such a degree that it is unnecessarily broken down and destroyed. People who expose themselves to unnecessary risks, health or otherwise, particularly when external circumstances have not forced them, have overlooked this understanding.

However, it is a given that a good life can contain many challenges, but to ”challenge fate” is nothing less than stupid. Greek mythology has the expression ”hubris.” A human pride and vanity which drives people to challenge fate and becomes the root of the hero´s downfall. But now and then the gods (deus ex machina) involve themselves and hinder further development of the tragedy. In human reality however, deus ex machina does not exist.

One can challenge the self and one´s surroundings without destroying oneself. The purpose of life on this level is not less than life itself. It is important to see wisdom closely connected to the basic expression and development of life, as is expressed in a Danish saying, ”what use is all the wisdom of the world, if one has not yet learned to shit.” A person who is not ”down to earth,” without the ability to manage the most elementary and basic elements of human existence is perhaps knowledgeable in some areas, but not in the most important ones.

Intermediators must not be self-destructive or destructive toward others unless they are forced into a situation of self-defense. They should be able to value their lives and give them care and consideration. Behavior inconsistent with this principle renders a person ineligible for being an intermediator. It is impossible for the intermediator to be dependent on medicines, drugs or alcohol. Processes that could lead to destruction of the self would undermine the project´s spirit and foundation.

Transcending conventional thinking

The acquisition of wisdom involves a transcendence of conventional thinking. Primarily because it is the premises of just this kind of thinking which causes many of us to believe we have found wisdom.

”To know what everyone else knows is to know nothing.” As an intermediator one ought to search for other horizons. One should learn to penetrate the empty and vain elements in our conventional wisdom. It´s been shown over and over again that the reasoning, rules and habits of thinking which have characterized one or another historical period have offered no more than an illusory security.

On the one hand intermediators should be able to be flexible between being close and secure in the reality in which they live. On the other hand they should be able to distance themselves from the pressure and obtrusiveness of this reality.

Intermediators will then be well integrated in the societies they live in, but at the same time they should retain their critical powers and they should work tirelessly to combat the destructive contradictions that will show up in a myriad of ways. They will be able to stand up against the blindness, oppressive norms and attitudes which ruin the health and thriving of humankind.

For example, they will confront the blind economic interests which have mammon and the golden calf as main motivating forces and which contribute to the destruction of the basic conditions of life on earth. They will fight destructive attitudes by helping children and teenagers to see the consequences and beyond that, engage them in a thorough discussion of more concrete, life-affirming models.

In conclusion, intermediators will be in and of the present, while at the same time striving to bring attitudes of life affirmation to those around them.

Love of self combined with humility

A person who likes himself or herself may be socially engaged and have desires to develop further, yet at the same time they able to live in peace with themselves and accept their limitations. Love of self is a necessary prerequisite in order to be able to like other people as equals; to be able to love them and learn to support them in a worthy manner. A person who does not like himself or herself will have great difficulty in liking other people as equals. Therefore, it is most important for the intermediator to have learned to love himself or herself.

On the other hand, the opposite pole of love of self is humility, in that the former can often develop into a narcissistic concern for self if a certain amount of humility is not present. Humility is difficult to cultivate, especially in our time which is in a great degree characterized by the spreading of vain attitudes on a personal level. (we are thinking here of the many implicit as well as direct messages which have the aim of selling dreams and illusions to people concerning what they can achieve and obtain if they buy this or that).

Vanity lies latent in many of us and certain aspects of the messages spread about in our time enhance it. Humility guides us to caution; to resist being caught by many of these stupid illusions. Humility reminds us that we all are mortal and will soon be erased from the slate of life, as well as from humankind’s limited memory.

In order to help people in a beneficial manner, an intermediator ought to learn to treat himself or herself in a relaxed, unpretentious way. Being tight and keeping a distance with arrogance would only be harmful for the children with whom the intermediator associates and guides.

Taking oneself unpretentiously also implies that one possesses humor and self-irony. This is an important aspect of life in that it reminds us of other ways of viewing ourselves thereby lighting up our own and other people´s lives with happy messages. A Jewish saying states: ”People think, God laughs.” Why does God laugh at the thinking human being? Because when people exaggerate, as they often do in their efforts to attain an absolute truth, they glide away from this truth. The more people are obsessed with finding absolute truths, the more people remove their thoughts from the essentials, that is, making life better for themselves and each other without useless destruction.

Intermediators must be able to hear God’s laughter, they then can remain open to human diversity and what expressions grow from it.

Accepting limits of life

Wisdom implies, among other things, a recognition of human limitations. Not all of our hopes and wishes will be fulfilled or can be reached. Here in our time and especially in the Western world, many interest groups, policy makers and the mass media attempt to create an illusion of the individual´s almost infinite possibilities for material success and self- development. These often aggressively presented ideas concerning the infinite number of possibilities a person can realize, are illusionary and harmful. They contribute to feelings of inferiority and insufficiency among the receivers of these ”products.”

More than two thousand years ago, Aristotle said: ”The wise do not search for happiness, but that which staves off unhappiness.”

This saying reflects the recognition that life cannot be pure happiness or total peace of mind. There is no paradise in that sense and there never will be. Yet we can make it good by learning how to avoid the avoidable conflicts and hardships as well as learning not to set unrealistic goals.

Intermediators should be able to distance themselves from the overblown, dream selling agencies whose messages promise much more than they can ever deliver. They will be able to sort out the problems and goals which reflect unrealistic expectations of what a person can be or reach in his life. They will be trained to seek simplicity in defining goals and solving problems. Their motto will be: ”Turn big problems into small ones and reduce small problems into close to nothing.”

Flexibility combined with a stable standpoint

Many people who can easily change their minds about ideas and attitudes consider themselves to be flexible. One of the greater demands made by our times is to be flexible and changeable in that the social, material and psychological premises of our lives change at a furious tempo. We must be capable of adjusting to the shiftings of realities if we are to survive these changes.

But human life is doomed to inner chaos without some sort of solid mental-psychological core. Something we can perceive as an identity. A person without clear attitudes and views toward central areas in his life cannot, in the long run, accept himself. This lack of acceptance brings them into difficulties in relation to other people.

A mediator should be flexible but still have a clear, solid, mental core. Flexibility for mediators is essential since in their work they will need to be able to relate to people with different backgrounds, premises and contexts. They should be able to teach and help through possession of both flexibility and a solid identity.

Wisdom and profitable experience

”Those who have no children feed them profusely.” – Erasmus of Rotterdam

The encompassing ”profitable experience” of a person is what should define a good intermediator. This ”profitable” experience is characterized by being beneficial and life-affirming in the person´s close relationships as well as in regard to the people with whom they relate to and work with.

A ”profitable experience” comprises a great deal of the knowledge and wisdom we have been depicting here. People who time after time run into avoidable problems and hardships or live their life in a limited, rigid and sad manner because of self imposed constraints (as opposed to external factors) have not yet learned to use their experience in a life- affirming manner. It is then the total quality of life experience shown in life -affirming attitudes which ought to be the measure of the means of the qualities of an intermediator, rather than some dubious quantitative measure that is quite often misleading.

Intermediators and context determined psychotherapy

Context determined psychotherapy is recognizable in that the practitioners are removed from the more specialized and limiting therapy schools of thought and systems. Instead they practice a mosaic of procedures and strategies, ones that are operative across different lines of thought. The purpose of the practitioner is to find the manner which best suits a specific person at a specific time.

Practitioners of context determined psychotherapy, the intermediators, will focus upon the following:

What is the inner and outer context in which a specific person is located? Intermediators will learn to read contexts in spite of and across stiff psychotherapeutic frames of reference. In contrast with the usual training of psychotherapists which greatly depends upon the candidate´s personal makeup and ideational preferences (thereby determining their ability and overview to comprehend changing contexts) the intermediators will be confronted with many different attitudes and frames of reference. They will thereby be challenged to break out of their preferred frame of reference. Theoretically boundaries will not be permissible. Practically and ethically speaking, they will be permissible when need to effect mental change.

The ability to sense human situations and mental conditions is in reality synonymous with the ability to read human contexts. It is a prerequisite and an important part of being able to say and do the right things to the right persons at the right times. To be able to read contexts correctly is in itself a complex task. One which must largely be done intuitively if one is to achieve the best results. The ability to read contexts is not however equal to being able to enter into them in an active, life affirmative and inspiring manner thereby influencing both the contexts and those who are involved in these contexts.

Intermediators will learn to be active in their efforts to bring about these changes. Traditional considerations which are based upon rigid and fixed settings and manners of approach to create a change, will be given up in favor of a much greater repertoire of action and strategies.

Subject areas as stress management, nutrition, allergic reactions, psychosomatic and lifestyle induced ailments and mental disturbances, and spiritual-existential life views will be included in the intermediator´s mental work.

Even today there are psychotherapists who oppose any attempt towards goal oriented, cognitive guidance. In their opinion, the client must what he ought to do discover on his own.

Some people who seek psychological help, realize that other ways of solving their problems exist, but they do not know how to reach these solutions in a concrete manner. Others simply cannot see these concrete solutions because they have not learned to think along these lines. Psychological efforts which are solely built upon the looking for insight without working on concrete problem solving and coping are often a waste of time for all parties involved.

Intermediators will learn to mediate insight together with concrete, ”down to earth” problem solving. They will use these skills in working with children, teenagers and parents. The process of mediation will be characterized by creativity, gentleness and grace. By developing their skills and attitudes to this extent, intermediators will be able to give help, guidelines and relief. Beyond that they will also be conveying possibilities and senses of wisdom, beauty, courage and hope.

Jewish boys who had to learn Talmud and Gamara at the age of 5, were motivated by rewards of raisins and nuts. The Roman emperors kept their city at peace (most of the time) by practicing the same strategy (”bread and circus”).

But this strategy has its shortcomings unless combined in certain contexts with the attitude and practice of ”tough love” (Where a person is trained to endure both mentally as well as physically, to delay satisfactions in accepting personal demands and responsibility). A good intermediator will be positive and rewarding in his approach with children, but he should certainly gain their respect and trust while also demanding endurance and efforts which purpose is to widen the limits of the individual in regard to physical and mental pressure and discomfort and temporary lack of food and sleep.

Training Intermediators

Intermediators will be trained, from psychological-cognitive-neuropsychological perspectives, to quickly bring forth the insights necessary to help demonstrate the whys, whens and hows of changing life affirmingly. They will be trained to use cognitive and persuasive techniques skillfully in order to induce needed changes. They will also learn to use their positive, optimistic life view and their own person in therapeutic contact.

Their tools will include the ability to communicate their knowledge to children in an engaging and inspiring manner, akin to what teachers and coaches are capable of. They will learn to help view and discuss fundamental questions such as ”what is the meaning of life?”, ”how do we find it?”, ”how do we go beyond conventions, sorrow and misery?” ”Where are we, the species of humans, going?” and so forth.

Having an extensive knowledge of how psychologists, teachers and educators function, it is my clear opinion that none of them, as a group, encompass and master all the above mentioned capabilities, i.e. those which the intermediators will practice. For one reason or another all of these professions have, during the course of their development, acquired an Achilles´ heel. This has little to do with their capacity for learning but rather the rigidness of professional boundaries.

The manner in which we recruit and train people for these groups in the present makes the proposed teaching of intermediators within existing frameworks an almost impossible task. This is the Achilles´ heel of many educational as well as corrective programs and projects: the human factor.

It is a sincere hope and belief that the development of intermediator training would allow for the avoidance of such a heel.

Intermediators: Testing, evaluation, development, implementation

Every human project which aims at developing and cultivating human beings must be dynamic and in accordance with shifting circumstances for its own survival and continuous relevant use. Therefore it must undergo testing, evaluation, development and implementation in an ongoing and successive manner.

Mediating of knowledge to children as presented in the present book, is such a project and therefore must be subjected to these procedures.

A good way of ”taking off” in regard to this mediating project would be to try it on a small scale at differing social, cultural and geographic locations. A subsequent evaluation, implementation followed by a broadening of the scale of the engaged population would reflect the worth and merits of the project.

At this point one may justifiably ask: “What is the foundation for your optimism that it will work?”

A personal starting point is my own life experience as a child and teenager. In the kibbutzim we were kept busy not just by school and practical work, but also by youth movements as well as social and physical activities and challenges. Our guides, the adults around us, were in person and essence like the intermediators we try to describe in what follows. We had things to believe in and to work for. Things that went far beyond a focus on one´s navel, success and the possessing of material goods. Our efforts were guided at bringing about a better world, better humans and a better humanity. The results of this experiment are well known. The ideology (Marxism) collapsed but the experiment showed that better humans and society can be the result of such instruction combined with ideals and enthusiasm.

Another reason for optimism is that almost every extended social influence in the formative years of children, those which are perceived by them as inspiring and strengthening (also partly due to contact with good intermediators), has long lasting effects on their persons.